i am my mystery

2009-06-14T20:20:00.001+08:00

I know it's been hard for you & it's been equally hard for me. I am not heartless & I do have feelings too.

Perhaps because I've been giving a lot to all my relationships, that I am tired already. I start to think for myself if continuous giving is what I want. If things should be so one-sided. Previously, you were the one who were not trusting of people & somehow, I think it has somehow passed on to me. After the past week of struggle, I kept on thinking to myself why I am so determined & firm? I think I may have the answer. I do not dare to invest in relationships. My previous one, took away my everything, leaving me with nothing, but lost friendships & spoiled reputation at the end of it. But I was stronger then & did not allow that kind of hurt to affect my next one. Having lost one, I dare not imagine losing another one & thus I have always be the patient & accommodating girlfriend. Even if your angers turns out to be nothing but tantrums, I will still accept it & try to talk to you to make you smile. I thought in this way, I will be able to keep you by my side. It did but it made me so not myself. I realized, that I have not really been myself for very long.

You are not the problem anymore, it's shifted onto me. I don't think I have enough energy to love. I don't think I can invest that kind of trust anymore. I have lost faith in relationships, unsure of what I want from it.

I have previously wish to get marry early & have kids before I'm too old, but not anymore. You were constantly worrying that I will be attracted to the care & attention showered by others but I just want to tell that it's not the case. I do not necessary need that kind of attention for me to go on in life. Now I am the lost one in relationships & I have decided to invest the energy into my work, studies & family - three areas which I have neglected for way too long.

I am touched by your words but I also do not wish to be in a position like how you were previously - unable to trust someone else. I will definitely not step into it again, unless I'm absolutely sure that I can love & trust again. It might take a long time, I dunno, but I would not be selfish on this & I will be happy for you if you can find someone who can make you trust again, someone whom you can talk to about your level of stress, and perhaps someone who doesn't have that much a burden as the one I have on my shoulders.

I need alone time for now & I may regret my decision one day but by then, I can only blame myself.

2009-06-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

I know I am selfish. I can't give a good explanation to this also.

But since my last relationship, I have always been the one giving. Indeed, in a relationship, we shouldn't be too bothered by who's giving more or who's giving less but when one side of it has been heavy for too long, things will just be unbalanced. I dare not say I've been a very good girlfriend all along, but I have definitely exceeded what one would expect of me.

It is not that I do not want to give another chance, but the thing is, I do not think I am mentally well-prepared yet. You gave me a time frame, beyond which, you won't turn back. I do not know how to react to that. Am I expected to heal things in me within a period of time? For me myself, I was just hoping that by catching up on other areas of my life, I will be able to be emotionally & mentally well-prepared again, whereas for you, time is a factor.

When you told me that you missed me & needed me back, I am touched cos I missed you too.

But am I ready yet? It wasn't easy for me to come to this decision & I can't just take it back as if nothing happened.

I am single now, but I definitely would not get involved in another relationship anytime soon. I have many friends of the opposite gender but that don't make them my potential.

You can choose to believe my previous statement or not.

Bottomline is, I need time to heal & decide again what I want from here.

I am currently still physically ill, and same things apply, I need to rest & recover first.

Logging off for the night.

2009-06-08T23:05:00.002+08:00

I somehow have this feeling that you will read this post right after I post it up.

This is going to be one long post, just like how big a part you've played in my life.

Every relationship comes with it both the happy & the sad parts but I always choose to remember the happy times as they are what made the relationship beautiful. Yes, I have chosen to take a break for awhile. My life is overwhelmed with too many things & I have thoughts constantly coming into my mind. I have always played my part as a partner who is always there. Whenever you're out of town, I will always be in lecture, taking down notes in case you need them. I will always be by your side during examination to accompany you in revision. I will always send you the latest notes uploaded by lecturers for you to print. I will always tell you the latest announcements posted up by lecturers. I have done my part as a decent girlfriend at least. I thought you appreciate it too, just that you're not those who will show affection thus I am okay with it.

I know this is going to be one old story but it all started from that day when you doubted me, when you think I deliberately do not want you to do your tutorial so that you won't know how to do the quiz. The most hurting thing is, I was the one who sent them to you at the start of the semester, asking you to print them. You forgot about them but managed to relocate them after the quiz and somehow, the one person you've chosen to blame was me. Why would I have done that? I'm not God, I don't know what kind of questions are coming out for the quiz. This misunderstanding is way over long ago but the hurt started then. I struggled with myself for very long for that period of time when you refused to talk to me, still in your own world, thinking that I'm the mastermind behind all these. I kept on thinking to myself.. 'Is this what I get? Am I really that despicable? Am I so untrustworthy?'. I dunno. But at that point of time, I really think that I can't stand it anymore. Still somehow, I dunno why, my heart softens when you apologized. I forgave you almost immediately. Friends wonder why I can manage to undo this kind of hurt inflicted on me that fast? Maybe it is cos you matter too much to me, that I don't want to think about losing you. For that few days when you refused to talk to me, I tossed & turned at night, afraid that I will lose you the next minute. I talked to friends whom I hope can give me some clue on how I can bring the message across to you that I am not what you think I am.

And then a mutual friend of us broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years & got together with another friend of ours. It reminded you of the bad past, the past that haunted you for very long. I was once again doubted, for whether or not I will end up like that. We all know things are out of our control & we never know what awaits us tomorrow but I have always showered you with actions & words that I'm always by your side, if not I would not have done so so much for you. This was the tipping point. Why am I living under the shadow of your past? Why am I being constantly compared to your past? I'm Esther, & not someone else & so, don't assume I will become like someone else.

For me personally, having someone whom I have spent one and a half years with, to always doubt me, is the most hurting thing. Many would not disagree if I say I've put in my 101% into a relationship.

I'm tired of giving in, always thinking how I can dissolve the misunderstanding, when you blew your top or when you distrusted me. Have you ever worked as hard as me, in trying to mend back relationships? Why am I always the one who's afraid to lose you while you, always suggest for me the easy way out if I can't stand your anger problem? I always tell you about your anger problem cos I really think there is more that could have been done. Being better than the past doesn't make you stop improving.

Have you not taken me for granted? Have you not hurt me deeply with your little actions?

Will you ever change yourself just for me?

I dunno. I'm tired.

I have a new job awaiting me & already I'm mentally drained. Why do I still want to worry if you would just suddenly suggest to me to take the easy way out again if I ever bring up any issues to you?

I cared for you. That's why you always wake up to a much neater room every Monday morning before you go to work. Tables are tidied up for you. Bed is properly made for you.

I really did a lot for you. Have you realized it now?

I just need to step out of this picture for awhile & enjoy the breeze a little.

2009-05-07T22:18:00.004+08:00

I choose not to look at the last date of me posting something on this blog.

I didn't expect the past 4 months, at least, to be so so so busy. And I always think that the previous semesters were already quite bad. Two design projects, total of six group lab reports & not to mention the homework submissions & the quizzes to prepare for. This may sound like nothing to most of the people out there but when you are actually the one in my shoes, u will see how scary it is. Main thing would be that we still have to hold a day time job while juggling all these. Meeting up after work or classes & burning all our weekends seem like a norm. I must say that for this semester, I have made full use of school facilities but I still think we are overcharged. Haha.. Anyway, it is really a big *phew* after the last paper. Although the papers for this semester were all VERY DIFFICULT, everyone still jump up in joy upon the end of the last paper.

Actually after such a tiring school term, I have more thoughts of the things around me.

After the last paper, we actually rewarded ourselves with a good meal at Cafe Cartel @ IMM. I then excused myself to go withdraw some cash with Nancy. On the way back, I asked her, 'It is very difficult to make people understand how busy we are, isn't it?' and she immediately agreed with me. We went on & on and grumbled to each other on the days we had. It's like, who would want to give up all the fun out there? And who wants to spend all their weekends in school? Often, we are being misunderstood as the dao one, or the anti-social. But at the very least, it has made the friendship between me & my closer friends in class much stronger.

This year's birthday, I spent it at home, study for my quiz on the following day. Though I'm at a age whereby birthdays shouldn't be such a significant thing anymore, still somehow it just makes you smile to know that one more person remembers your day. At least all the Facebook posts & smses did make my day. Initially, I thought that's it, no celebration for this year but who knows, at the end of the quiz on that Friday (2 days after my birthday), everyone turned up for the dinner which I thought would be just between me & keong. All lied to me that they are unavailable & can't make it for dinner to mark this last quiz of the semester. It was a sweet surprise which I will never forget. No proper planning, no nice presents but the presence of everyone makes me feel so blessed, really. =)

Met Angela for dinner yesterday & it was a nice & enjoyable dinner which is full of laughter. We went to have steamboat & ended the day by patronizing the new Illuma @ Bugis. Honestly, the place is boring. Yes, it is spacious but still one word - boring.

Right now, at this very moment, I am still mentally & physically drained & yet I can't seem to fall asleep. Perhaps I'm used to all the staying-up-till-2am kind of timing that I can no longer adjust my biological clock back to the normal time which working adults should sleep at. The only different thing now is that I can sleep without any stress at all. I must say, I have put in 101% effort this time round, after doing not so ideally for my Fluid Mechanics last semester. I do hope to reap what I reaped. Maybe you can say I'm pushing myself too hard but to me, it is just like you will work hard for what you most desire. You love your job & you will work harder to prove yourself useful at work. You love music & you practise day & night so that you can play that favourite tunr of yours. My goal is to get at least a second class (upper) honours & I am working towards it now. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

2009-01-25T16:18:00.002+08:00

Life's been hectic & before I know it, the Chinese New Year is already here.

What do I wish for the new year?

I hope for good health for both my parents.
I hope that my company will still do as good cos I need my job.
I hope to get the A's I deserve.

I hope you will keep yourself cool before getting angry.
If you can control your anger on others, on a person who snatched away your parking lot, why not me as well?
I hope you can keep your job & get the promotions u deserve.
I hope you will continue to work hard with me in school & in other aspects of our life.
All in all, I pray for the best for everything in your life.

2009-01-17T09:52:00.018+08:00

My internet was ridiculously slow the other day & I really gave up on uploading after 4 hours on blogger. I am so going to complain to Starhub for it~ (Yeah, I am so going to Swensens. HAHA.. not funny. Maybe only Angela will always entertain my jokes. wahhaha)

Anyway, here's more photographs. Though they are getting more and more back-dated.... Don't mind lah hor. =)

Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall (Cont'd)

Shi-da Night Market

Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall

Our last Saturday @ Taipei. =)

-----

On the other hand, school is really at its craziest. We're taking a Year 3 module at our last semester of our 2nd year. Of all the 3 modules I'm taking this sem, all 3 are lab-based. In total, we have 6 lab reports and 2 design projects to complete! I always appear very cool in school when it comes to all the piling workload, but this time jialat liao. Now I've finally found one more person who can share my busy workload with. Angela lor! She's my junior in NUS now~ and she can slowly understand what 'BUSY' really means. =(

2009-01-11T19:19:00.031+08:00

Yeah, I'm back. =)

With more photographs of cos. Been really busy even without school.

Dan Shui Old Street

A very old style shop, with all our childhood toys & snacks. =)

Another old style TCM hall.

On the train back from Danshui.

Not much photographs for Danshui as it was raining with heavy wind, and both of us were seriously freezing. The hat & gloves were bought at Danshui street when I can no longer tahan the coldness.

Yang Ming Shan

Shilin Night Market (AGAIN!)

Sweet BBQ corn

Ai Yu Bing

Strawberry Ice

At starbucks. ;)

Sun Yat-Sen Memorial Hall

Be back soon!!

2009-01-07T22:18:00.013+08:00

Yeah. Sorry, I was really tired when I was typing my last post. I just fell straight asleep after that.. =)

Anyway, the last batches of photographs I uploaded ended with the one on Wo Cai filming right? It was really a very interesting day for us. That episode features E-cup babes. Good for keong. Nothing interesting for me. Just that.. erm.. they were really a lil bouncy. =))))

More photographs.

At Beitou for our hot spring (Japanese: onsen!)

Fisherman's Wharf (Yu Ren Ma Tou)

The night view of the Fisherman's Wharf is BEAUTIFUL~

Okay, I think I need to have a Part 3 for my trip. I am permanently tired. Yeah, I know that Someone will agree like crazy. zzz.

Next entry: Danshui Old Street, Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall, Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall & other random pics.

Next next entry: My way overdue New Year Resolutions! (^.^) v

Be back soon. Stay tuned. ;)

2009-01-05T22:41:00.024+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

I know I'm a little too late.. but well, I only touched down to SG yesterday at 11pm & reached home after MN. Had to go to work this morning too. Woke up at 6am and took a cab all the way to Jurong Island. Just want to pamper myself once in awhile..

Yes yes, I've just returned from my Taiwan trip! First time going for a trip on my own (with my dearest too, of cos. =) ) Previously went to Thailand with school during my secondary school days but it is like donkey years ago.. Can't remember how it felt like on an airplane anymore. Flew to Taiwan on 27th December 2008 & only returned yesterday. Went for a holiday from Y2008 to Y2009! haha.. 2 years of holiday~

WELCOME 2 TAIWAN! wahaha..

Went to many many many places. The highlight of the trip was the Wo Cai filming. Hehe.. finally get to see Jacky Wu & Ah Ya in person. Jacky & Ah Ya really make the best partnership when it comes to hosting. Respect! =)

Lazy to type already.. as usual.. I shall let the photographs do the talking! Anyway, this is Part 1 only. Too many photographs.. Will have to split into parts.. Cos I need to sleep soon. =P
Day 1: Shilin Night Market

Bing Tang Hu Lu! Too sweet.. Don't really like it a lot.

They have this punching game.. you can choose several characters such as Li Teng Hui, Ah Bian & Ma Ying Jiu. It's funny to the max lah! Look at that expression of Ah Bian! WAHAHAH. And that tummy! WAHAHAHA.
Day 2: Taipei 101 & Xi Men Ding

Yeah yeah, I can't get to dress like that in SG!

When we first arrived....

From the 89th floor!

At New York New York Shopping Centre opposite Taipei 101

Xi men ding!

We spotted this. Well, Ah Bian is indeed quite famous there & what does this picture show us about Ah Bian? The money signs? Well.. =)

Shui jian bao~

I've never seen so many boots in my life!

Yeah, only 1807hrs and the sky is this dark.

Day 3: Filming of Wo Cai

Jacky's hardcore fan. Super siao on.

That lady in the off-shoulder top is Xu Hui Xing's sister. Look alike eh?

Aiya.. tired liao.
I go koon!
BYE BYE!

2008-12-22T22:11:00.007+08:00

YEAH. the other day i was blogging the previous entry & I really just fell asleep like that. I guess I was too tired.

Had a christmas gathering with my NUS mates at Angie's place. We had steamboat for dinner. I know it sounds weird.. steamboat for Christmas, but it was good. It doesn't mean that we hafta eat turkey for christmas and mooncake for lantern festival. Most important thing is that it met its purpose of gathering everyone together. =) Angie has a KTV set at her place.. Comparable with that of kbox.. Meaning, you have those remote control for u to select your songs & you can browse for the songs through singer's name, song name.. blah blah blah. Whatever feature you can find in a typical ktv, you can find it at her place. Super cool! KTV for free! =))))

I really love the time spent this vacation. HOWEVER, it's results tomorrow. Well well, it's fixed already. I just hope I can clear every module, doesn't matter if I get my first C.. or even D. PASS PLS!!! *CROSS FINGERS*.

Last but not least... BONUS ANNOUNCED!!! It is good, amidst all the bad news on the current economy. Guess my company is quite blessed, since we're super absorbent polymer to diaper & sanitary napkins producing company, our market is more or less there. =)))

Alright, more photographs continued from my previous post as well as last Saturday's photographs.

2008-12-13T02:49:00.004+08:00

YEAH! I'm blogging at this hour.. 0250 hours.. the early hours of 13th December 2008. In fact, I just got home like 30 mins ago only. I know, should be sleeping but somehow, I think the lychee martini is causing me to stay awake. Weird reason but.. that's the only thing I can link to.

Just had a super long night with my NYP pals - Zixiang, Jianyong, Khairul, Shaheeda, Dorine and me. We had dinner @ Spageddies, Marina Square. The food is really quite good & what's more, we paid very reasonable price for the 15% discount with UOB cards. $80 exactly for 6 people. Money worth spending on.

Next, we decided to head to somewhere to chill as the night was still young.. Went to Durby Nelly's Irish Bar Erm.. actually I anyhow spelt that name. But it's somewhere along that line, at least 90% hit rate that my spelling is right. Devon joined us after she was done with her event at esplanade. Got a very nice sofa seat there and chatted all the way till about 2am when I decided to call it a day. Fatigue hits me suddenly but weirdly, I'm still awake. Well well.. PMS maybe!

Enough of today. Yesterday I met up with Brendon & Ruibin. It's been a year plus since we three musketeers meet up. We used to go to many places, especially playing pool together. It was like one of our favourite past time. What's more, we stay so near together & it's not difficult to drop by any of the places near us. Was just thinking about it yesterday.. These two guys are really one of my best gifts from NYP. They stood by me through my hardest time. One of them accompanied me out for a walk at 2am when half-way through our MSN conversation, I decided that I needed some fresh air. I was mourning over my relationship then. The other, bought ice-cream for me & brought it up to my place for me, just cos I have gotten out of yet another bad relationship resulting in me, not willing to take in any form of solid food. The only thing I could swallow down my throat was ice-cream & he granted my wish by buying one big tub of ben & jerry's & brought it personally up to my place before bringing me out for a walk. I mean, how nice can they be? When the road ahead was all darkness for me, I had these friends as the 'lamp post' to guide me through the dark walkway. =)

Oh yah, we saw this Red Tomato mascot walking around AMK Hub. Probably from the name of Ang Mo Kio, which in dialect means Red Tomato. It was so cute la! haha..

Enough said, photographs for your viewing pleasure... =)

P/S: Will update more pic in next post on my latest home revamp! Stay tuned!

Suddenly very tired already........

2008-12-01T21:49:00.005+08:00

It's been awhile and my life had just been so dull!

It's nothing but school & work.. Exam just ended last Saturday and the sense of relief & finally getting to enjoy without guilt, is just WONDERFUL! I have a line of events coming up in the weeks to come & I can't wait for them to happen!

Yesterday was Cayden's first month and I must say he's really so tiny & his head is so soft~ But it's something only ladies will be interested in. Guys are never interested in babies until the day comes for them to look after their very own flesh and blood.

-

Will update more soon!

sick...

2008-11-12T23:02:00.002+08:00

I've been on MC for 2 days.. and going back to work tomorrow..

Was down with flu and really reluctant to go to work when I woke up on Tuesday morning.. maybe due to my sleepless night from my really stuffy nose.. woke up in a bed of tissue paper.

Actually I don't feel good about taking MC cos it seems like I'm the only one in the office who's always falling sick. It's my 4th MC for the year already. Perhaps due to exam stress.. always the case for me.. and I'm glad I'm on my way to recovery before the exam and not let the illness strike me during my exam period.

Counting down to exam in less than 2 weeks' time and I'm really not prepared, especially my fluid mechanics. The lecturer is hopeless & we really have to depend on ourselves & also our online tutorial for our revision.

Still... somehow... I believe God has his way of working out everything for me.. I have the faith. =)

Please let me & keong go through this together smoothly... ;)

2008-10-29T20:13:00.002+08:00

Time & again, I always log off from Blogspot, with an entry unfinished. Maybe cos I don't have the luxury of time anymore. Every single second counts.. and there will always be a time when I feel the overwhelming need to express myself.

I was with keong when I saw him at IMM that night. Am I lucky.. or not? I dunno but it's a weird feeling. In fact, I didn't notice his existence. It was keong who saw him.. he recognised him from the photographs which he had seen before. So.. why did I say it's weird? Firstly, this guy is someone who had let me down seriously & I was foolish for holding on to a heartless guy for so long & when I finally got the courage to let go, I thought I wouldn't want to see him anymore. Initially, I always feel like my heart's gonna pop out if I look at him any further.. it's all the past memories coming back. And now? It's a totally different feeling. I felt proud to be able to show another side of me.. a side of me which had moved on with life & found the love I've longed for. And him? I hope he still has a sense of guilt & learn to treat a gal the way she should be treated.

Nothing's bad... it came with the good memories too. It would be hard to accept him as a friend anymore but I sincerely hope he will learn how to treasure the ones he really care. Don't be a coward anymore. It was because of his cowardy that made me went through so much accusation by peers & being totally ostracized by people whom I thought were my friends. And yes, I guess when we care about someone, we won't let others see them in a negative light & try to hide them all. We were foolish.

To those who had hurt us before, we won't hate them. Hatred is something we shouldn't have. But we wish that person the best & not repeat the same mistake on anyone else anymore.

To that particular Her.. I hope you won't hide in your fortress anymore but try to step out and look at the good things ahead. Let the past be a lesson to you and that's it. It shall stop there & don't bring along that heavy baggage with you anymore. For I'm sure, somewhere out there, there will be a road for you. When one door closes, another opens. =)

..

On another hand, this year hasn't been all smooth-sailing at all. I am not doing good this semester. Oddly, the more I study, the worse my result. I have never spoke about my disappointment to anyone before. Perhaps, the moment I say it out, people will just say I'm just aiming too high. But no, I'm sure everyone of us has a certain target we always set for ourselves. And for me, I've always been doing decently ok since young. I always get over each and every hurdle, no matter how high it is but this time round, I tink it is taking me so much more to struggle to jump over.

I won't give up.. there's still the final exam coming up.. but I'm just disappointed with myself time & again.. especially after yesterday's quiz. It sucks to know that everyone knows how to do that simple question & I screwed it up. But God somehow comforted me today, telling me it's ok.. and that I have to change my style of studying.. I'm coming for the final exam.. & will not let down myself again.

My taiwan trip will be something I look forward to..

Off to get my online tutorial done... =)

2008-10-01T01:09:00.004+08:00

It's finally a public holiday tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nopeee, i'm not spending it at home, in fact I'm going to school tomorrow to revise for my math quiz on thurs. I'm really contented with it though. At least, I save a day of leave and get a full day of study. =)

Last week was my recess week and I really thought I could have relaxed or something. Little did I know that there's so much to be done for the 4 lab reports.. & I got so tired, chasing after everyone for reports. It really made me wonder if people appreciate what I've done.. but I know at least, one person do appreciate.

So now, back to second part of my semester. More hectic as the exam approaches with every tick of the clock. Saw the words I posted in the previous entry? They are the words to make me go on. You can deny the power of meaningful words sometimes. =)

..

Two years after everything, I know I have to thank you somehow. The sense of failure I felt back then, gave me what I have today. It had also made me seen another side of life, that is, not everything is fairytale-kinda-beautiful. A pinch of bitterness makes you appreciate the sweetness even more.

And pls, don't ever go around asking people if they know me. I believe it doesn't matter anymore. Yes, I am still in Sumitomo & I know this engineer who's also your gf's good friend. If that's what you want to know.

Anyway, it wouldn't bother me anymore cos I have gotten my best present which is the fresh page that God has given me + the first name indicated on it.

Contented.

Loves. =)

..

Random photographs..

while the lab instructor was away, we played with the safety glasses in the lab. this is the classic nerdy look. =)

my sweetest darling. currently our hp wallpaper.. and yes, he's the first name indicated on my fresh page from God. =)

Time to sleep....
sweet dreams.... ^.-

2008-09-25T16:07:00.003+08:00

There's a saying that God never gives us more burdens than we can bear...

And if that's true, then God must think you're very, very strong because this surely hasn't been an easy time for you.

I wish there was a way I could shelter you from pain & unhappiness, because if there was, I would.

But all I can really do is be here for you and keep you in my prayers.

You are a child of God.

He made you.
He loves you.

and He will not forsake you...
that I know for sure.

So hang on, keep your faith and know that you are loved..

Because believe me, you most certainly are!

Linda Lee Elrod

2008-09-05T20:22:00.008+08:00

Yeahhhhh, finally an update.

I always have this urge to blog when I have no access to any computers. When I finally have my hands on my laptop, the urge just vanished. Haha.. Chinese will say that I'm a typical 'Fan Jian' kind. No doubt about it.... =)

Life has been busier than usual ever since the commencement of a new semester. More hard-core I would say. Sometimes life gets so tiring that the thought of giving up comes in but thinking back, if I can make it through the past 1yr + with no problem, why am I giving up at this stage? I'm not a person who gives up when difficulty comes. I would rather take on the challenge. Afterall, it's only for that 2.5 more years before I complete everything. Success will go to those who endure through the toughest & rockiest road.

Anyway, let me just have some update of photographs. :)

Vincent's Wedding (1st Dec '07)

Chunpong's Wedding (8th Aug 08)

Alright!! That's it for now.. I'm gonna do some surfing of net till 10pm before I get started on my lab report.

BYE BYE!

2008-07-28T12:45:00.006+08:00

Yes.. finally can surf net liao..

I was so tired that the moment I sat in front of the tv, wanting to watch my fav History & Discovery Channel, I fell asleep. Sigh!

Anyway, yes, I finally get my day of rest on Sunday. My irritating someone brought me to Singapore Flyer! Heh. I always go on and on that Singapore Flyer shares the same birthday as me. Yah, 15th April. =) But I did mention that I will only go if the price drops cos the price is far too steep. One ticket for like.. $29.50 for a 30 mins flight? Luckily, he got it at a discounted rate. =) It is indeed a different view from the top, you get to see Singapore from a bird's eyeview. The flyer is moving at a very slow & steady speed. In fact, you don't feel the thing moving at all. Such great engineering! =) Now I'm satisfied already. Just once & I'm happy.

Back to work now, with more things coming up. D&D this Friday. I was trying to plan my week and I realize how tight the schedule is for the week. School's starting next week and I hardly have rested enough. Yes, I still think I deserve a long break. Hehehe.. =)))))

Artistic shot eh? =)

All waiting to alight/board from the flyer.

By the way! For anyone who is intending to watch Red Cliff... my advice not to go there & throw your money down the drain! Definitely not worth it. We felt like walking out of the theatre half-way thru & the Eng Wah Cinema @ Suntec is horrible. Dirty floor, rubbish everywhere. I won't go there again. Back to the show.. I still think other movies like Warlords is much much much nicer! The storyline of Red Cliff sucks. No link from one part to the other. Yeah, let me say it again. It sucks. =

Back to work.

2008-07-26T12:22:00.001+08:00

I really want to do better...

I dunno where I can find that encouragement that I need in order to motivate myself...

Guys & gals... How do you motivate yourself? I need to know.

2008-07-26T12:01:00.001+08:00

Today's 26th July, Saturday. Time now 12:03PM. Weather now sunny.

I'm blogging from work!

I can't complain about being tired here cos everyone in the office works longer hours than me although mine is already quite long! Yes, that's our annual shutdown when everyone doesn't sleep at all.

A little stress at work lately. Much expectation and I've given myself too much stress. Maybe cos I've just been promoted and I thought I should expect more from myself. When I push myself too hard at work, things go wrong. Hai..

I know it's perhaps sickening to be around me and hear me saying that I'm stressed up everyday but that's the thing that I'm going thru. After this shutdown, things hopefully will be back to normal, when I can take my time to understand certain things.

I just need to go out for one day and enjoy myself.. forgetting everything about work.

Yupp... just one day and I'll be happy....

2008-07-19T23:51:00.004+08:00

Just back from a dinner with my coffee bean folks.

I've been using these few days to meet-up with friends. Somehow, most people are free during this period of time when my sweetest isn't around. God's plan ba. Ha.. I haven't been spending for the last 3 weeks. I know it's amazing but my irritating bf will know why.. Heh~

Met up with ying on Thursday evening. It's been a while. Many things left unsaid for very long and I guess this should be the right time. After a period of time when things had settled down, it's easier to talk. She's so pregnant now. (ok, i know pregnant is not an adjective. but you noe what i mean. =) ) Her tummy is like so hard and it's hard to imagine another life developing inside. Somehow, she gave me a different feeling now. More of a motherly kind of feeling. Going out with her has its advantage and that is, people will give way to us.. =) Managed to catch up with each other, updating each other on what's the latest going on in our life. I apologized for me, not being able to spend time with them in the past but also told her everything I was going through, including about my mum. It is just the way my life is. I have more commitment than many people of my age and have to think about the consequences of spending that extra cent on a luxurious item. I won't hesitate to pamper myself with that one item per month. Anything more than that.. I guess I will just forgo them. =)

..

Met up with my coffee bean mates just now for Jasmine's birthday. Had dinner at the Japanese restaurant at Robertson Mall. Latest rule of the coffee bean gang is to go to weird places for meals. You won't find us meeting at common places like Takashimaya or Vivocity. I mean, it's cool. Would be better with a car to save all the walking. =)

Here's a few photographs.

The photographs were supposed to be much clearer but none of us had better camera phones & my camera is with my irritating bf. But somehow, I think they look quite nice with this blurry effect eh? =)

My irritating bf will be back soon. I guess I'm really excited to be seeing him again soon. I didn't tell him how much I miss him lah.. but I do.. He said I'm irritating but now I realized, he can be more irritating than me. So irritating that without him, I feel like it's so quiet. Ha.. But poor him.. There he is in Japan, and here I am in Singapore, with many problems going on and I couldn't help it but to sms him about those problems. As in, I wouldn't want to bother him with all my problems when he's on a vacation. I'm glad though, that when I run into a problem, he's the first one I think of.

..

On a sidenote.. been spending quite a bit these few days and I have to stop spending for this week... before I get my pay for the following month. I need to save for my holiday trip this year end. I so can't wait for it. =)

Oh yah, I just got a promotion at work. Very good motivation for me but at the same time, I am suffering from stress at work recently. My way of relieving my stress? I read the bible. I will open it out and look at the first sentence that catches my attention. I take that as God's message for me for the day. It works for me as it will give me that very calm feeling. When I miss my sweetie too much, I will read the bible too.. Just like now.. =)

2008-07-18T09:28:00.004+08:00

TGIF!

Today woke up feeling more refreshed & I slept well yesterday.

Probably cos of the skype conversation yesterday. Felt better after I get to see my darling, toshi, joanne & henry over the webcam. =)

Anyone watched Hellboy 2 yet? It's good!! Me & my irritating bf enjoyed it! =D

It's one of the must-watch. I like the way the story develops and not forgetting with a pinch of humour. =)

Someone's at Disneyland today. Me ah.. I just google-d for a photograph of Tokyo Disneyland. Haha.. Imagine lor. =)

Amazingly beautiful eh? Kazama-san told me today's Friday.. so they will have fireworks tonight. Now, Kazama's singing Disney songs to me.. to make me pek chek. Haha.. GRR!

2008-07-17T23:26:00.004+08:00

Quite tired from a day of work.

These few days had been nothing but stress but I have learnt to curb that kind of feeling. I'm a grown-up & I can't possibly be venting my stress on anything that I see. Have to know how to handle these emotions cos after all, no one owes me anything.

I'm glad that weekend is finally approaching. I've been wanting to catch up on my sleep very much.

Oh yah, I met up with Ying. I will update again soon.

Just finished my Skype call with Toshi & gang.

The wonders of technology..

We hafta salute it really. =)

Well, to end this post abruptly, just to post up a photograph of a restaurant at the Tokyo Disneyland Hotel. =)

2008-07-17T10:21:00.002+08:00

Very restless at work.

Didn't get much sleep last night but I'm still feeling okay. At least I'm not like zombiefied.

Lately I keep on feeling very tired of working. Maybe cos I haven't really taken a good rest from the hectic lifestyle of school & work & what's more, exam just ended but makes no difference to me. Two weeks of break from school would mean 2 weeks of OT at work. But well, I have to complete this path which I've chosen to take. I think I have the energizer spirit. Never say die. =)

Mum is slowly recovering but she still needs me around. She almost takes thrice the time I took to wash the dishes so it's definitely easier if I'm around to help her. It's quite a funny situation here. I have to help my mum then when I'm not at home, my mum will have to take over and look after my dad. Nobody is indispensable indeed but if I'm not around for say, 1 week, I wonder how the family will be like after I come back. My dad probably will run out of insulin jabs & my mum will probably have piling housework waiting for me.

I shall declare this week the Independence Week. Nope, nothing to do with independence day. It's just that it's really everything on my own. Can't call my darling & whine about my problematic router but just to try to meddle around & figure my way out. Can't lie there on the sofa while watching tv & dozing off. Have to get my butt off that sofa & get some work done.

I must say, for the past 2 months at least, life pretty much changed in the way I handle things & think about things. I have to make myself go home more often to help my mum & not think about how I want to save transport cost for myself. Yes, I want to, but probably can't stay out for that long a period. Max I do is 3 days. Yupp, really have to learn to be more selfless. It's seldom about me nowadays but about the people around me which indeed gave me a good feeling from within. At least I have made known to me myself that I am responsible & am slowly growing into a lady with more thoughts & consideration for others. Age is just a number & what people often see is what's within.

Now I think, it's very sad to be a self-centered person. The world revolves around you, nothing but you. Aren't such people very miserable? The world out there isn't just about us but many people who walks in & out. I think the only time we will learn something is when we walk out of that circle called 'Me, myself & I' & appreciate the things & people around. Haven't we seen how self-centered people lose the precious ones around them?

Ha.. philosophical eh? But these are things I have come to know of.. & understand them in the true sense.. =)

2008-07-17T10:10:00.001+08:00

One more photograph update this morning.. from Japan~

Very pretty.

I guess all these photographs are fast becoming my companion.

2008-07-17T07:43:00.003+08:00

Ha.. HI!

Yupp, I'm indeed super sian that I can't go for this Japan trip but there are some good things that happened too.

Will be meeting ying this evening.. It's been a while and I guess many things are to be said.

Taking this opportunity to finish reading some books.

Each time the phone rings, it really excites me. It's either toshi or darling. They will tell me where they are and I really like hearing about the things there. Mentally, I am trying to imagine how good it would be if i were there. =)

I will just think of it this way, good things nv come easy and perhaps the reason why I am still in Singapore is cos God thinks I don't have enough money yet & my mum needs me at home. Makes sense? Yah. Everything in his time & my time will come. Hopefully as planned. =)))))

I miss him but hope he will enjoy himself there.

Toshi's place:

2008-07-11T09:29:00.002+08:00

If you ask me if I'd rather be a man or a woman if I'm given the choice, I will choose to be a man. And yah, that would mean that I can't be with my current boyfriend. hahah. But that's not the main point.

Being a woman means I will have to go thru:

1. the risk of being sexually harassed. I said that because I've been reading a lot about women who got sexually harassed and though men are included as well, but the possibly of that happening is like 1 in a million kind of thing.

2. monthly pain. self-explainatory.

3. give birth. And though I'm stating this, it doesn't mean I'm fearful of carrying my own baby. I will definitely love to bring my own baby into this world. My theory is, a woman isn't complete if she's unable to fulfil the purpose she was made for. But the thing is, okay, this is gonna be related to point 1.

4. The suffering end of a rape crime. A man raped a lady & ran away, without having to worry about the risk of pregnancy. We have seen tons of examples of irresponsible men who just simply had their share of fun and leave the lady behind. Well...

5. PMS. This is by far, the thing which bothers me the most. I have been seriously affected by it ever since I was in secondary school. The timeframe before it all, is the worse thing. It's when you lose control of your emotions. You get angry over the slightest thing, you feel pek chek over the smallest thing which someone else had done & you get upset suddenly for no reason. I mean, it's good that I know that it's going on but despite this fact, the emotional moodswing still hits me & some other gal-frens of mine quite badly. Not every lady hafta go thru this but at least I'm one of the unfortunate few. These few days, I kept on getting irritated by many tiny mini things & think too much into something that perhaps doesn't exist.

But things aren't all bad in the world.

What's good about being a lady then?
1. Ability to doll-up & attract attention. Even if your man is a person going after the 'all-natural' thing, meaning, he still loves you for your plain look or plain dressing style, a little dolling up does make it all the more better. You tried dolling up nicely & gained the attention that you wanted? I tell you, I always think being appreciated for the effort of dolling up, is one of the best thing. Even better if it's coming from you man. yeah? =)
2. Sensitive. Admit it, we gals are emotional creatures. It is proven in many scientific studies. Men want direct answers & straight to the point. Women on the other hand, don't do that. We will think about the answer with our brain and also, our feelings. We tend to inject feeling into our daily life and though it may not be the best thing, it still has its good side to be looked at. At least, we are sensitive to many things including the feeling of people around us. When something's wrong, we do know. We feel it.
3. To be afraid of roaches & won't be labeled as weaklings. :)
4. To be dote on. :))))

Actually after typing this entry, I feel better already.

I'm just super whiny during my PMS stage. hahaha..

Bottom line is, don't complain.

Life is never perfect and the only way it can be perfect is when you embrace the imperfection. Be happy for who you are & the things which you have now.

I'm not perfect.
I suffer from terrible moodswings during PMS.
I'm not rich.
But guess what?
At least I'm a happy person. ^.^

2008-07-02T10:48:00.002+08:00

Time is passing by at too fast a rate.

Before I know it, it's already the end of the special term. It was only for a brief 2 months & everything was squeezed into this small time window. I must say it was a tiring term despite the fact that I'm taking 2 electives, none of it being my core. Glad that it's over though. And the fact that it's over indicates the nearing of the examination yet again. Exam will be here in less than 2 weeks' time. One of them will be open-book while close-book for the other and I haven't even touched the notes yet.. Life of a student~

My dearest will be heading for Japan straight after the exam & I can't go with them this time round.. My plant's shutdown will be during that period of time & I have plenty to do. My boss let me have the one-man-show this year. And I guess it's time too since this is like my 3rd shutdown in this plant already.

I have already told my dearie to take many many nice photographs for me & do some shopping for me. hehe. Japan has always been the spot I want to go the most and we did say that we will go together but circumstances change. Well, hopefully I can get away this year end. =)

Despite me being so 'kan de kai' tat I can't go cos of work.. I'm still envious of them.. very.. Everytime they talk about it.. I will be green with envy.....~~~

Back to work..

nemui desu ne..........

2008-06-30T22:07:00.003+08:00

Mummy's unexpected fall... made me an even more independent gal...

Did grocery shopping for the household.. Washed dishes... Cooked things.... Ensuring that the home is neat & tidy...

Well, it's always all these that made someone realizes things in his or her life.

A blessing in disguise I guess? =)

By the way, I have an irritating boyfriend.

Very.

But the more irritating he is, the more I like.

One more thing to share.. Something I've stolen from Angela's blog..
Angela.. if you're reading this.. don't mind ah..
I really think it's quite meaningful.
It's often the details in life that make them all so wonderful..
Kindly take 5 minutes of your time (if you're a fast reader)... No harm right? =)

..

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore…I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest… I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:

I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank,blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

2008-06-28T13:35:00.012+08:00

Hi! I'm back again. =)))))

Many things happened and I shall update them to all of you out there.

Toshio's Visit to SG + Batam Trip
Toshio visited us last week and we planned a Batam Trip. He personally is a very sporting person & loves water sports. I'm currently very tired now and maybe I shall just post some photographs. =)

..

I came back on Monday and got to know that my mum fell down at home. She fractured her right arm and just went for surgery yesterday. It is both a trauma for her & myself. I am very worried that she will fall down again at home and have to keep on reminding her what she can do and what she can't.

I am financially stretched to the limit & it is now that I appreciate the fact that saving is very important.

She's now on 14 days medical leave and may extend further.

I only hope that she can regain back the functionality of her right arm soon & be able to go back to work.

That's why I'm so tired now by the way. I was sick yesterday but still have to accompany to the hospital for her surgery. I just want her to be healthy & fit again... =)

2008-06-04T14:35:00.002+08:00

AH-HA!

If you're thinking where I have disappeared to.. Well, yes, I'm back to school & work again.

Exam results released. As usual, exam stress always got the better of me & I'm just an average B student. But I'm contented, to have got over each hurdle with no hiccup so far. *CHOY*
=)

My timetable really sucks totally. Odd weeks, I have 4 lectures/week. For the even, it's 2 lectures/week. It's like.. so not properly spread out. Still, I guess it's fine. It's just for that 2 months plus for Special Term anyway. It will soon be over.

My sweetie bought many things for me from Korea.. Even includes a Hello Kitty. Haaa.. I hope our trip to Korea this year can be realized! I haven't gone out of Singapore on my own before! Something I would really love to do~

Today I'm a bit too slack leh.

Exchanged many emails with Angela.. (Hor, Angela? hahah). But well, I appreciate having friends to accompany me through my days. Many people coming back into my life, telling me how much they do care about me as a friend. I'm glad, that I'm moving forward in a manner whereby all my friends are really happy to see this change in me. Often misunderstood but true friends understand it all.

I'm blessed, really. As said by my dearest, sometimes we forgot to count our blessings and start to dislike our life in many ways. Be it not enough money, feeling like we've been neglected or losing our cool in front of our loved ones.. All these are signs that we forget to count our blessings, no matter how small they are. The fact is, we are no saint. To err is human.

Most importantly, is to sit down quietly at the end of the day & reflect on what has happened for the day.

Have you wronged someone you care for? Have you raised your voice at someone you love? Have you shown gratitude to someone who's made a difference in your life?

Make up for all the wrongs you may have done.

An apology or a Thank You - I guess, that's the best thing to do. =)

Be blessed.

2008-05-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

Being able to talk to you about the ugly past of mine, I know I'm more brave than who I was back then as I've become a lady who dares to face it all & actually acknowledging the existence of the naked truth. No longer am I the lady who sits at one corner of the school, sobbing to myself... =)

2008-05-21T19:14:00.003+08:00

Time now 7.14pm. I'm seldom home at this kind of hour.

Finally no lecture today.. and it's good to be watching tv at home, after a warm & comfortable shower.

On my way home, I've thought of a lot of things. The topic of 'forgiving & forgetting'. I believe I've blogged about something of similar topic before but now that I look back, I realize I have learnt more things than I did back then. That's the way life is. We rewind back to life 6 months back and come to realize that we're a better person than who we were back then. If you don't, you are not living your life the way it should be. It should be a forward process, not a stagnant one, neither should it be moving backward.

What do the words 'forgive & forget' mean to you? Is it just something you say & genuinely mean it? Or just another thing which you say to please the people around you but deep in your heart, you still bear the grudge? Some of us may not have been through such situation whereby you struggle to forgive someone. But I've seen a little too many living examples around me and that including I myself.

Forgiving may not naturally mean that you are able to accept that someone into your life again. I guess it is more of acknowledging the fact that no single one of us is perfect and all of us sin. When you look at yourself & reflect on what's been going on in your life, you will be able to list out some of the not-so-right things which you've done. All these will point me towards something in Christianity which I appreciate a lot. That is, God will forgive you for whatever mistakes you've made in life as long as you acknowledge it & confess in him. You need not be a Christian to understand this but I'm sure each and every religion will have something of similar meaning in their teaching.

Once you have forgiven, you will be able to let go of that one thing you've been holding on to, and walk out of it all as a happier person.

For someone who had been there & done that, which I've talked to a few closer friends about, when the time comes for you to forgive, forget & let it go, do not hesitate. The main thing which you should gain from it, is a heart that's free from hatred, grudges or unhappiness. There are so many things ahead which will deserve your attention more. Let go of what's in the past & learn from it, lessons which will benefit you in the journey ahead.

Friends are invaluable, past memories are beautiful as the way they were when things are good. These are the things you should walk home with.

--

forgot to show off my DKNY bag.. birthday gift from someone dearest to me. =)

wahahaha. boring weekend afternoon doing dumb things! but these are the fond memories of mine. =)

2008-05-20T22:52:00.002+08:00

First thing I reach home from school is to log on. Never so gan cheong before. =\

But well..

Time now 10:53PM..11:53PM in Korea.

Getting late...

Guess I should just be a good gal and log off......

I just wanted to make up for the short conversation this afternoon.......

To self:
Be good, babe. You are constantly being missed (hahahhahah) so don't get too upset when you can't get in contact with him at all. Soon, it will be just 3 more days. For these few days, just continue to check Gmail for new emails. Remember to say your daily prayers before you sleep, like how you've been doing for the past few days. God hears you and will pass on your words to the special one. =)

With love.

Good night.
God bless.

2008-05-20T14:56:00.001+08:00

my sweetie used to irritate me in class by sending me sms-es with the words 'testing testing'.

He knows I so wanted him to say something nicer rather than just 'testing testing'.

and today! I did that to myself!!

My phone is like totally silent!! so I decided to send myself a testing message to ensure that it's still working or something..!

WAahhahah! He's so going to laugh at me if he knows about this!!!

LOSER ME~~~~

2008-05-20T14:18:00.006+08:00

Finally.. a short online conversation..

If not for my early lunch break.. if not for the basic fire-fighting practical training which I went to.. it would had been a longer conversation... =(((( But never mind, I've saved the chat.. I can look thru later on the things he had told me about. =)

Jeongdongjin is indeed a beautiful place. I was told that it's at the east of Seoul.. A very pretty place by the seaside.. I love the sea.. I love the stars.. I love everything of the nature.

I would love to travel to so many places if time permits!!

I want to go to Japan.. place like Osaka & Tokyo will be sweet! And maybe Nagoya.. where all the old palaces are. I want to go to Korea too! And to Taiwan & Hongkong! So many places which I've been wanting to go since young yet no one to go with me in the past either that... or that financially... i really can't afford to do so.

Some pictures I've google-d:

nagoya castle

sakura @ osaka!

jeongdongjin~

Aren't they just so beautifullllll?

I am so going to travel with my sweetie when the chance comes!

I'm still feeling lousy! Cos I saw the messages too late and by the time i'm back 5 mins later.. he's gone to another place to meet customer.. =(((

But it makes my day afterall.

=)

2008-05-19T21:17:00.005+08:00

Today was a day totally to myself.

I did things which I haven't done in a long time.. watching movies on HBO, continue on reading my 'Purpose-Driven Life'... and also, to catch up on my sleep. I guess this Public Holiday came as a good break from the hectic lifestyle. For the past few months, even a Public Holiday is spent on studying, studying & studying. But one thing, I realise is that I do miss my darling quite badly. He's always been the one I sms or call to talk rubbish and I sort of enjoy irritating him with my craps.. which he was quoted saying.. that the more irritating I am.. the better. =)

My phone is totally quiet today.. as he has problems with his auto-roaming in Korea. Previously for his Indonesia trip, at least he will sms me when he's free and also call me every night.. for me to update him on what I did and also to know how he was doing. I guess no matter how independent a lady can be, all she needs is just to hear the voice to make her day.

I have never been a complicated person. I work hard for what I want and I am contented for what I have in life. A simple family, a good boyfriend who dotes on me ALOT, a bunch of lovely friends.

And at this very moment, all I need is to hear his voice and hear him tell me 'Good night, baby.' =)

Even if that seems a bit far-fetch at this very moment, all I'm hoping is that Saturday will come quickly, when I will be sitting at Starbucks @ T2, awaiting for his return. =)

On a sidenote, something which got me thinking..
Pastor Kong mentioned before that every failure brings out a lesson for us to learn to be stronger.

I was never really successful when it comes to studies when I was younger. My family can't afford to bring me for tuition and I have to depend on myself. The starting of primary school was a struggle for me cos to me, English is like the Tamil language to me now... totally foreign. I have to keep on reading and reading, and try real hard before I can get my just-average marks. Thus, my foundation is not very strong. I did not do well for my secondary school Amaths due to my weak foundation.. The first time I get red marks in my report book is also for this subject. It was a big blow and I have to force myself to go thru the ten-year-series over and over again. Back then, Shenny is my best study companion. She stays near me therefore making it easier for us to meet-up to study. Finally cleared everything for my O-level and I was eligible for almost all the course in the polytechnic with my aggregate. Finally, i managed to land myself in a decent course with rather good prospect i must say. =)

One lesson I've drawn from this is that.. things can be worked out eventually if we do try hard enough. =)

I suffered from my last relationship very badly too which I shan't go into details at all.. but it definitely made me appreciate my darling even more. Someone who will drop me a sms or a phone call when he doesn't hear from me.. someone who will bully me.. of cos not the real kind of bully!.. it's the sweet sweet kind. =)... someone who always know what's on my mind.. too many to list..

This world is full of love.. A certain bad encounter doesn't make it the end of world.. it just means that there are better things ahead.. for this instance, my darling. =)

All of the above.. both setbacks and failures have made me drawn from them, invaluable lessons which will make me go further in life.

..

Photographs of us.. to let me brighten up my day a bit.. =)

2008-05-18T15:19:00.002+08:00

A very lovely Sunday afternoon. Very windy outside.. a good change from the scorching-hot-sun weather for the past few days.

My sweetie has to fly to Korea for a business trip, again. This time round, for a longer period of time... from today all the way till next Saturday. Last minute notice from Thursday. What can I say? A guy should always put work as his priority and when a guy is out there on his own, it's really depending on the trust of your relationship. Somehow, I managed to find strength from God to help me become an independent lady and to cast all negative thoughts aside. After all, He's the one watching over everything, making sure things go right for all his children. FYI, I've always been a very pessimistic person, thanks to my last relationship but I promised him to be more confident and optimistic towards life, which I can say, I am on my way to achieving it.

I continue reading up on 'The Purpose-Driven Life', which was a Christmas present from sweetie. Take it as a break, for me to spend some time watching tv, meet up with some frens and also to pack my notes which I haven't had time to do so since the examination. I do believe that absense does make the heart fonder though. =)

Back to my sweetie, I woke up at 4+ together with him this morning, to accompany him to airport for his morning flight. Departure from T3 and I must say, T3 is really quite a beautiful place. Partly for the obvious reason that it's the newest of the 3 terminals. Had the impulse to just get a ticket and fly with him. I haven't got the chance to get out of Singapore ever since my secondary school Thailand fieldtrip. Since young, I don't have chance to travel due to my daddy's health condition which is a big burden to my family's financial situation. But one thing, I should feel blessed that I have both my parents and I actually get to travel once. I want to go to places, see the world outside, when time & money permit, now that I'm a big girl of theirs already. =)

Reached home at 8+ this morning and slept all the way till about 12+ when I woke up for lunch.. Now I'm just resting around, waiting for sms on my mobile for someone to tell me that he's safe in Seoul already. After which, I will be meeting up with Louis & JY for KTV in the evening. Tomorrow's a PH.. been waiting for this break. I haven't had a break since my last paper.

Will blog again soon.

2008-05-12T14:04:00.001+08:00

Exam's over! But the worse has yet to come....!

----
Release of Examination ResultsSemester 2, Academic Year 2007/2008
Schedule of Results Release

Date/Time of Release

Undergraduate Students

Year 4
30-May-2008 (Friday)
0900 hours
Year 3
30-May-2008 (Friday)
1200 hours
Year 1
30-May-2008 (Friday)
1500 hours
Year 2
30-May-2008 (Friday)
1800 hours

Non Graduating Students
31-May-2008 (Saturday)
1200 hours

Graduate Degree Students
31-May-2008 (Saturday)
1400 hours
----

A little update..

2008-04-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

The semester is finally coming to an end, with one final hurdle - the final examination.
I can't believe that I managed to complete each and every single assignment.
I personally did 95% of the work and the rest of the 5%, i have no choice but to resort to the art of replication. *wahaha*
It's just bad, having to squeeze time to complete assignments, revising for quizzes, or even, just to find time to sleep.
It can all be quite taxing and yet, I'm actually enjoying it as well.
Engineering is my interest and to learn more about the chemical industries each day, the more I want to hang on and complete my course.
Many travelled on this journey but few made it to the end. When the journey gets tough, many would just turn back & hide inside their comfort zone. It is human nature, to seek the better of the choices which are in front of them.

Recently, I gain back a friend whom I thought I've lost for good. Someone who betrayed my trust back then. He is in a not-so-good situation now and I guess what he needs, is the presence of a friend and thus, I offered my presence. =)

We only need one best friend who knows it all.

I have a best friend who is also my pillar of strength for everything in life. But of late, due to my poor health condition plus stress from work & school, I tend to lose my cool. Sometimes it's just frustrating having to deal with my health problem, the lack of time for revision yet I can't do much at work. It's all part & parcel of life but I'm learning. Most important thing, is to realize one's mistake & take some time to digest everything. Not even a genius can learn something in a day but I'm learning to, at least at the fastest speed that I can.

..

I had a wonderful birthday.

Never have I felt so pampered.

My mum cooked dinner for me and prepared a big ang bao for me. Perhaps the biggest one I've gotten from her. I'm happy for her that she's earning enough for the family now and even manage to have a little saving. It is not easy for my family to have come so far. =)

My sweetie is the best thing I ever have for this year's birthday. My latest SE W910i is a gift from him cos I really love that phone very much..
The other day, i saw this DKNY bag at takashimaya.. I love it but it cost a bomb. Way out of my budget..
On my birthday when he's supposed to meet me, he was late.. I was a little disappointed initially.. never did i expect it to be such a big surprise! Before we slept that night, he *ta-da* presented me with a big DKNY bag.. I immediately guessed what it was!!

For so many many years, I never really have someone who dote on me so much.. I am indeed blessed..

I will give up whatever I have, to keep this blessing with me.

I'm sorry for what I've done wrong & I'm thankful for whatever had been showered onto me.

I will be confident of who I am & am learning to love myself more each day.. =)

2008-03-31T13:06:00.001+08:00

Writing is a good form of expressing one's thought.

Through writing, that's not a fear of having to talking to anyone face-to-face, and the fear of not knowing how to deal with consequences.

Things are getting tougher each day, both at work and school.

As the length of service increases, responsibilities increase proportionally. People expect you to know things without having to be spoon-fed. Nobody will come to you and list out everything that you need to complete. You are expected to work individually and independently, which I'm proud to say, I'm slowly getting the hang of it. The flexibility of my working hours, allows me to leave on time for school, without having to rush too much.

Sometimes, the stress of such hectic lifestyle do get to me, and people around me suffer the most. My dearest always hafta bear with my nonsense when I lose control of my emotions. The stress of having to work very hard to make ends meet & also, to pay for each cent of my school fees. The kind of frustrations, perhaps is something my peers will not understand. When I tell a few about the heavy responsibilities I carry, many go 'wow'. My purpose is not to impress anyone but to let them know how fortunate most of them are. I pay for almost all my bills at home and also, allowance for my family. All these little things become very big when I put them altogether.

That is precisely why, I treasure the people who are constantly around me. Many dropped messages of encouragement, or maybe just simple phone calls or messages to catch up with me. Despite the fact that I seldom answer calls or reply smses, many were still quite persistent in calling/messaging me. Ha.. One such example is jy, who always call me even when he's in Thailand, though I seldom answer calls. Sometimes I'm busy at work.. While at work, my hp is always on my desk. Sometimes I'm in the midst of lectures.. Thanks buddy. =)

I'm sorry to all my friends, whom I have to push back a lot of meet-ups with you or even cancelling an appt at the very last minute as I'm really trying my very best to maximise my time now and sometimes, things just didn't ended up as planned.

Friendships are important but you can't say examinations/tests/work are not important either.

My work requires me to meet deadlines and school requires me to constantly revise my work & submit homework and I do not have that much time to revise in the daytime.

Ultimately, the degree is going to affect my future and true friends will be there always.

Your level of maturity is shown by how you priortize your things and weighing which are the more crucial ones at that very moment.

I'm not going to sugarcoat my words to everyone out there..

But do always be prepared to sacrifice things in your life in order to achieve another.

I sacrifice on sleep, my tv time, shopping and even, friendships.

Before you graduate from your school, nobody teaches you about how to deal with people at work or how to complete your work so that your boss will be pleased with you. All these, you hafta learn them. You won't know how deep the water is unless you stepped into it.

I learnt many things the hard way but has gained in numerous ways.

2008-03-31T09:49:00.002+08:00

I no longer have a 'part-time' boyfriend who never acknowledge my existence & importance in his life, always making me feel like it's a shame to bring me around.

That was last year.

It's sad that I only realised that at the end of everything but it's a great thing at the same time, cos the lessons I've drawn from it, is priceless.

What I have now, is a full-time boyfriend who cares about every little thing in my life, bringing me around, introducing me into every aspect of his life.

He loves me & I treasure what I have now. =)

Will update when I have slightly more time in hand..
which I dunno when.
Perhaps after my exam in May. =)

2008-01-11T09:21:00.001+08:00

http://the-memory-lane.blogspot.com

2008-01-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

I think the admin office condemned the whole group of us, the 2007 July intake students. But blame them! They have a screwed up bidding system and they took like 3 days to solve it?? Semester II is starting next week and we're still in the midst of settling these trivial issues with the school? Sigh. Talking about efficiency.....

But it's okay! They finally do their work!

.......

Dear CHEW YAN YAN, ESTHER,

Please find your bidding result for Acad Yr 2007/2008, Semester 2 as follows:

------------------------------------------
Allocated Modules
------------------------------------------

Module Code : GEK1522T
Module Title: Global Environmental Issues

Module Code : TC1422
Module Title: Materials for Chemical Engineers

Module Code : TC1402
Module Title: Mathematics II

.......

ANYWAY. Need to get ready for next week. Back to school again!

I miss my pals! I will be going to class with my sweetie too... =)

The present is worth putting in your best effort. Nobody can foresee the future.. which is very true. What we can do now is to love each other with all that we've got. We're all grown-up. We should know what we want and the kind of life we want to lead. No more partner who is possessive, wanting attention all the time. The best thing is when you've found your partner and at the same time, you're still able to get that little private space of yours. =)

2008-01-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

I have to discard away certain things in my life - things that I've been holding on to for too long.

I must have been blinded to not be able to see the brighter road ahead. Still, if not for all the downs, I wouldn't have learned to appreciate my love, who has been teaching me so much.

Today marks our first month together. I find the last one month of my life more fulfilling den any other day of my past 21 years. I look at setbacks with a positive mind and I'm able to plan my road ahead, with my love beside me. We make decisions together and most of them, are for a better future. My saving plans, my daily meals.. everything.. He planned it well for me.

The journey ahead is still long.. and it will require effort to keep people together.. And that's what I wish for this new year. I want to keep the faith we have, and also the strength to walk the road.

2008-01-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

As you can see from my previous post, my life has been very colourful recently.

I am leading a wonderful life now, though I do have my fair share of ups and downs, my sweetie makes it up for all.
We visited a lot of places together, took pictures with our camera. The good buy that we have together is definitely the Canon camera. Every moment that we had together were captured in those little photographs.

New year, new hopes.

School's starting again soon in less than 2 weeks' time. And now, we are all busy with finishing up some piling work and also bidding our modules. To me, the system is so troublesome. Have to log in every few days to check bidding status. Now I'm doing all these for 2 persons, me & my sweetie. I'm glad with my new added responsibility - his secretary. =)

I'm very blessed to be part of his life and I hope he will continue to be in mine.

It will be yet another challenging year, as I proceed on at work and in school.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-02T10:42:00.000+08:00

Vincent's Wedding (Cont'd)

Malaysia (JB)

Xmas gathering @ Serene's place

Christmas Day

Chinatown

*a surprise he got for me. =)))))))

2007-12-26T13:55:00.002+08:00

Name : CHEW YAN YAN, ESTHER
Matric No : U070636H

2007/2008 Sem 1 Examination for B.TECHNOLOGY (CHEMICAL ENGRG.) 1

CN1111E Chemical Engineering Principle B-
SSB2216 Employee Management in Singapore B+
TC1401 Mathematics I B-

CAP: 3.33
(CAP computed is accurate based on progress & declaration made as at time of printing.)

2007-12-26T10:44:00.000+08:00

=)

I had a wonderful Christmas!

I met my darling's family.. and they're really nice people. Especially the niece! She's jealous that the uncle (my baby) is not spending enough time with her!

Anyway, results out at 12.30pm.

Time now 10.47am.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.

*prays*

More photographs soon! :)

2007-12-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

me & sweetie's first shared item - Canon Ixus 70.

I've been hoping to get a camera since ages ago!! :)

..

At Subway:
Him: 'Baby, this is the first time that I share a footlong sandwich with a gal and the gal actually finished the bigger portion.'
Me: '.........'

*after the meal*
Me: 'Hey darling, I'm still hungry..'
Him: '......... You finished the chips... then the bigger portion of the sandwich.. and finished the Coke Light!' T.T

LOL. I have a man's appetite.

2007-12-18T08:51:00.001+08:00

He slept at 1am to make breakfast for me today.
He woke up at 5.30am to meet me at Jurong East to give me a surprise.
He's doing all these just cos I had a lousy day yesterday.
His words are so touching.
I'm blessed and loved by God and him.

Nothing more I would ask for anymore.

2007-12-11T16:22:00.001+08:00

I know everyone's truly happy for me.

I had refused to move on into another relationship after him. And I realised that I just need that little bit of effort and positiveness in me, to be determined enough to make that very first step.

He has proven to me that love can still be found, for the once broken-hearted.

It's just the beginning but at least things seem to be on the right track so far. The way we converse, the way we share thoughts.

It's all about making your choice and stick to it.

God always has his plans for us but we won't see it immediately. He puts things within our reach and never in our hands. Failure is just His way of telling us that we're on the wrong way. We will be guided back to the right track if we want to. :)

This is one different Christmas for me.
May God bless all around.

2007-12-09T02:41:00.000+08:00

Went for church service today.

Always learn a lot from every service that I go to.. :)

Watched Nanking @ Vivocity today. History is something we all should know about. Things that people in the past went thru, and finally learning to appreciate the present. It's a shock, what the war did to people. Besides the word cruelty, i guess there's no other word to describe what was shown in the movie.

..

2007-12-07T15:24:00.000+08:00

no time for updates.
i'm busy working, dating & slacking (something i haven't been doing for the past 6 mths...

just a sneak preview into what's happened to my life recently.

at vincent's church wedding.
me, nancy & angie. the few close ones to me in NUS. :)

gladys' 21st birthday.. this is quite back-dated..
was too busy with exams..

my sweetie with his niece.

more to come.. :)

2007-12-04T12:29:00.000+08:00

So in love.

There are reasons why I like men who are older (just a few years older la)than me.

To me, mature guys are attractive when they talk about their thoughts.

Something which I can't find in my peers.

I will update more about my new sweetie.

He's sensitive & knows my thoughts well. He brought God into my life as well.

Blessing all.. ^^

2007-11-15T12:41:00.000+08:00

NUS is kind in a way.

Release of Examination Results : 26-27 December 2007.

They let us enjoy our Christmas first befor letting us know the cruel truth.

BTW, my CA grade for CEP is B+. I'm like... that one more step to an A.

sighhhhhhhhhhh.

2007-11-12T22:01:00.000+08:00

I'm confident, frank, cheerful.. etc.

But I still have my reservations on some issues in life.

I hate to admit it but something is growing in me.

It is a bittersweet feeling.

Above it all, I know I want to protect myself from hurt.

For every step that I take, I will consider my own state before all things.

To begin it all, we must learn to love God. He made each of us unique & we should treasure what has been given to us. He doesn't put things into our hands but put it within our reach, for us to work towards it. =)

2007-11-12T08:58:00.000+08:00

Thanks to ck.. I managed to find this favourite japanese song of mine. The japanese drama was aired during my secondary school days & I so love the theme song. It was in my old computer and I didn't transfer it over.

On Saturday in school while studying with ck, we were listening to songs on his ipod when I saw this song! Was so excited!

Please listen to it even if you don't understand Japanese. =)

2007-11-10T23:30:00.000+08:00

Indeed, the issues on admission to local universities have always been the popular topic. Top students get in, average students have to pray hard & students with poor grades still give it a shot. At some point of time, I do wonder what's with the admission system of local universities.

Why am I saying all these? It is this blog entry that I came across....
http://nubeals.blogspot.com/2007/07/admission-into-nus-this-year-2007.html

It has touched on a lot of issues that I've tot of personally. I have friends who score much better but was rejected by all universities this year.

The school has set very high standards for both its full-time and part-time undergrad & post grad programmes which sort of gives me the positive stress to strive higher.

2 more weeks to exam...

2007-11-09T15:18:00.000+08:00

The trip to Geylang last Wednesday was a great eye-opener for me. It is really another side of Singapore, something different from our everyday life. It so happened that we went on Deepavali eve, which makes the whole place seemed like Little India. But still, the environment there is generally more of a 'messy' kind. There are really ladies standing by the road, with men around them. There is this particular lorong.. one whole row of hot babes with great bods standing outside Hotel 81. This is when you will start to wonder why they had taken this path. Basically everything about them is perfect, as what can be seen.

No photograph this time. I'm afraid I'd be beaten up if I take pictures of them.

But anyway, we went there for supper. Ck brought us to this back alley with real good food. Everything is fine except the way the guys looked at me. There's one part I had to be pulled away cos the guys around me are simply too horny-looking. Thereafter, I walked around with my guy frens around me.

Our last destination is at this liang teh store, opened by Ck's fren. Nice white fungus with rock sugar, delicious gingko with barley.

Reached home at 12.45am... chatted with my long-lost secondary school mate, Wenlong till 2am. Everybody's busy mugging for the upcoming exams including him.. I enjoy laughing at NTU students cos their school is so ulu.. I start to wonder why so many people chose to study materials engrg.

I will be in school for the whole of this weekend. Can't afford to waste time. MUST DO WELL!

2007-11-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you recall back on your schooling life? Is it all good? What have you gained from it?

The only thing I'm feel grateful about are the lecturers who had helped me alot along the way. I am not their best students cos I don't score as well as their top students but I'm not a bad one either. One thing I gain the most from my NYP days, is my ability to talk confidently. I must say, back in secondary school, being a student leader as well as a uniform group member, it somehow made me a brave & strong girl. Being the Esther now, I am not afraid to speak in front of a crowd.

Sadly, that is the only thing I want to remember about my poly days. Everything rotten, happened to me during this stage of my life. Maybe that's just the way life is. You have no control over it & instead of sitting there crying for mum, might as well make the best out of it. Sadly, yet again, I only realised it after I got out of all those shit.

The best gift I've gotten from NYP is..

..

On the other hand, life in NUS is not as boring as I would have expected it to be. I enjoy every bit of it, 'cept for when we were mugging for quizzes, rushing reports & presentation. =)

I have learned to look at people in a better way, knowing who my friends are & who are not.

I will definitely treasure my time in NUS. Everything's good & will remain this way.

Supper tomorrow @ Geylang after lecture. Thursday's a PH & I'm going to spend the day revising for my exam. It's a good break though. A break doesn't necessary means sleeping the day away. Just lazing on the couch is a way of relaxation as well.

Friends are for life, unless you want to spoil it all.

2007-11-04T20:17:00.000+08:00

When life gets real busy, you don't have much time left to yourself for some self-pondering.

As everyone should know by now, my life is packed right from Monday to Sunday. Quoted from Serene 'I think climbing Mount Everest is easier than meeting you.' Funny but true.

Surely, I will have some time left to myself to think about what I want. Sadly, loneliness will creep in but I managed to overcome it all. I believe that this period of singlehood is God's way of letting me appreciate the things around which I have missed out for the past few years. When I'm finally ready to have another person to share my life with, I will be a better person with more colorful experience of life.

I believe I have grown up in my own way and I'm still learning, every minute & second. =)

..

Passed my Japanese Intermediate I test. Intermediate II class will commence on the week after which to me, is not really a good time cos.....

Exam's round the corner............

Chemical Engineering Principles - 27th November 2007
Employee Management In Singapore - 29th November 2007
Engineering Mathematics I - 1st December 2007

God bless all!

2007-11-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

True enough, I haven't blogged for like the longest time. And the fact is, I forgot I have a blog. The past couple of weeks were crazy for me. Rushing presentation for my SS module. The fact that we all have our own commitment, we still hafta meet whenever we are free which left us with no time of our own at all. But I guess it's all worth it. For the times we spent laughing at each other, throwing in ideas, and scolding each other, it's not that bad afterall. =)

And the big day finally came. Our presentation was last Thursday & it's really a big relief. Still, we hafta finish up the report for our topic.... which has already been submitted on Thursday. One interesting this semester is this plagiarism thing in school. We will have to upload all our report into this website & what the site will do is to search thru the thousands & millions of database it has and identify similarity. After loading the report, we will have an originality report which shows us the percentage similarity to the database. My group report has a similarity of only 5%. I think there is bound to have a percentage similarity cos there're only these few ways to express the topic in English. How different can one be from another?

I didn't crop this photograph becos I wanted all to look at the time shown on the clock. wahha. In case you can't see, it is 10 minutes to 10pm at night. Location - tutorial room at block E1 of NUS. This is one of those days when we sacrifice a lot of sleep just to get everything in place. Finally. =)

..

Met up with my kopibean clique for dinner @ Waraku last Saturday. I am loving Japanese food so muchie.

Ian is satisfied with his super big bowl of ramen... when I say big, I really meant bigggggg....

I always love sashimi!

..

All sorts of people exist to form our society. We can't please all or like all. Ultimately, the winner will be the one who can be who he/she is without wearing a mask, letting the people whom he/she likes to like him/her in return & to do wrong to none of them.

We will eventually learn to not be bothered by people who don't make our day at all. At the end of the day, those who are always by our side, are priceless.

2007-10-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

As usual, I'm like super busy. 24 hours a day is definitely insufficient for me. Thank god that I've cleared the lab reports & now next up will be my presentation next week & also the math quiz. It's all packed to the fullest. Not even time for me to just rest well but it's all good.

I recovered from a flu just a few days back & in fact, I'm still having slight cough. A strong gal falls sick too. =) my uni mates are nice. They brought me to this place at Bukit Timah that sells porridge last Thursday, after our class. Those are the kind that are very family style - one bowl of porridge with some side dishes like the salted vege, some fried tofu.. etc. Love 'em. :)

We celebrated Chee Keong's birthday last Friday evening @ Nancy's place. The birthday boy cooked a few dishes for us, which to me, are really pretty decent. That Nancy ah... she just shifted to her new flat @ Yew Tee.. her place has no sugar!! Ended up Chee Keong put in one whole handful of Equal sugar. The prawn turned up pretty sweet. Hahah.. but it was quite nice to have everyone around on a Friday evening.

I look super loser can. I was sick that day & visited the doctor before dropping by at Nancy's place. As what Serene always say.. a person cannot look pretty everyday in her life so this is one of my ugly moments. =\

..

Last Sunday, I was in school (Yes, no life...). Anyway, was there for our presentation preparation. Prefers the school on a Sunday afternoon, it's peaceful & nice to get things done there. Then we saw this thing.. I'm not good with names of these creatures.. but apparently it is very happy sun-tanning that afternoon. I can't help it but laughed non-stop. Enjoyment eh? :)

..

OKAY THAT'S IT.

I need to go get some stuff typed out first.

TAKE CARE!

SORRY TO MY GALS FOR FLYING AEROPLANE THE LAST TIME ROUND~ SORLI~ SORLI~
Not my fault... NUS' fault~
hahhaha. rubbish.

okay! BYE!

2007-10-11T10:36:00.000+08:00

All my weekends are burnt.

Have to rush for our presentation.
Have to meet up very frequently for discussion & preparation.
Have to revise regularly to prepare for quizzes.
Have to complete lab reports.

With all these, I....
Have to be a pilot & fly aeroplane.
Have to give up meeting my frens for a while.
Have to sacrifice sleep to make sure I do well.
Have to plan time more properly.

Thus......
My apologies to whoever I fly aeroplane to.

SEEKING YOUR UNDERSTANDING! =(

*AKU caught a cold leh. *sniff sniff*

2007-10-02T10:56:00.000+08:00

More pics from Charmaine for the gathering with the poly mates.

our chocolate fondue!

this picture looks so sweet. i like it. :)

me & the long-lostttt albertttt..

2007-10-02T10:28:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I dunno what I'm thinking.

I see a lot of similar people around me. People who feel, and can't let down something completely. Even though we're ready to move on, the memories just stay there. I envy people who can easily put down everything, without turning back at all. I envy those who are not as emotional as I am. To them, this chapter ends and that's it. I dunno why it bothers me so much to see photographs of others with him inside.

I think Uncle Daw is right lah. When you put a single guy/gal into the uni lifestyle, that's when they'll meet new people and they'll abandon the past totally. Correct me if I'm wrong but that's what I'm seeing.

Eventually I will meet a new love who'll treasure me a lot more. :)

All these aside, I'm really loving my uni mates. I have a crazy gal-fren who's so cute. We giggle together over the smallest thing & can talk non-stop for the whole day.

..

For the only person who would understand the whole story of all these love-hate:
Love all, trust few & do wrong to none.

I'm sure we'll all be a happier person if we start to think in this way. :

2007-09-29T01:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back!!

It's Saturday now. Ying & Chris had their ROM yesterday afternoon at Aloha Loyang. They are really a sweet couple together but we kept having to tell ying to behave.. She tends to let the child in her surface, and do a lot of 'funny' things.

Tired of typing. Pictures....

..

I rushed off to my poly mates gathering at Olio @ Suntec. First time I've been there & I must say it's a nice place. And my poly mates are still as nice.

Yeah, good frens of mine would have spotted someone in the photographs below by now.

It's awkward but I don't see any effort from him to say Hi to me.

A friendly Hi will do but why isn't there any?

But the rest are still very sweet, very nice people, especially Charmaine & Jianyong. :)

Somewhere about 9pm, I had to leave Olio & meet chee keong. It's a dinner treat I promise him for printing notes for me and also for the past few treats he's given me when we went out. Chatted from Suntec, to Marina Square and to Esplanade.

Nice way to end the night.. except when I'm almost home, at my void deck, this cat suddenly popped out from nowhere and followed me everywhere I go. It just wouldn't go away. Had to call chee keong cos I needed some company over the phone to make me feel better. Eventually, no choice, had to call my mum, whom I know wasn't asleep yet, to fetch me up. Aiya, I hate to show my timid self.. but yeah, everyone of us is afraid of different things & it just freaks me off when the cat jumped out from nowhere & wouldn't leave me alone.

Currently online cos I can't sleep yet. A lot of things going through my mind. Needed sometime to sort it out. =)

2007-09-21T16:23:00.000+08:00

It feels good to be missed, somehow.

Just an effort from a friend who bothers to message me every now & then to tell me about the most trivial thing in life yet it's a nice feeling.

I will be there for the gathering and I hope you will be too.

Cos I want to know that I'm strong enough to face you with feelings no more than that of a friend.

I must say I have regained the strength that I've lost.

Remember to thank the people who had hurt you in the past, for they are the one who had made you stronger.

2007-09-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

My Japanese Language school will be featured on 'HDB Tai Tai 2', this Thursday 8pm @ Channel 8. I didn't realise until I saw the principal's face and somehow I kept thinking why he looked so familiar. Super slow eh. Pentium 1. wahaha.

2007-09-17T09:55:00.001+08:00

I have to start drafting out a revision plan.

I can smell quizzes.

They are getting nearer by the second.....

How ah? So long never take class test leh... :(

2007-09-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

The start of another week soon..
Tomorrow will be on half day's leave & going to shop for a new tv with my mum.
My telly is not displaying the red colour at all.
Everybody has purple lips on my tv.
If I continue watching on this tv, I'm afraid I'll get colour-blind too, when I can't tell the colour of the most common items. :)

..

Everybody changes. Some for the better and some for the worse. How about the closest loved ones you have around you? Are they who they seem to be when you first met them?

I'm really contented with what I have now. I do feel lonely but somehow, some friends will liven up my day again. Be glad with what you have & not complain about what you don't have. Others may be envious of what you have & you didn't know about it.

I gotta go consult mr. chen on the tutorial question before I grab my Cleo magazine & laze the night away. It's pretty cold out there & good for sleeping definitely! Night folks!

..

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right.. these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try
Somehow the plan is always rearranged

It's so hard to say
But I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay...

I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand

We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Do'nt wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to grey
And it's just too hard.. to watch it all.. slowly fade away

I'm leavin' today
'Cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay

What about us? What about everything we've been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you
What about me?
What am I supposed to do...
I gotta leave but I'll miss you
.. miss you

2007-09-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

Yeahhh...

And finally, the highly anticipated sequel to the High School Musical!

I even marked down the date on my diary! I love it & it's awesome! Troy & Gabriella finally kissed! I really think they make a good couple but they're really quite young. I'm hoping they'll be happily together!

But recently I did read about some negative news regarding Vanessa Hudgens. But please don't let it spoil her relationship with Zac Efron. I think they're really cute together.

I might consider getting the OST. Love the songs..

Cheers! New week ahead.. & I can't seem to spare much time for myself.. :(

2007-08-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

Yeahhhh. I happen to be home earlier today. SS module class ended very early.

I'm loving the feeling of going back to school. And seriously, I haven't been so hardworking in a long time. Ha. Me, dawcious, angie, vincent & chee keong stayed till almost 11 on Tuesday to work on our CEP tutorial, which to me is crazy. Cos after that I have to travel all the way back to my cosy little home in Hougang.

My life is keeping me real busy. With the busy project discussions & also our small study group. Not to forget, my work as well. =)

And one thing, the engine block canteen sells real cheap food. Haha.. call us sua ku lah. But we haven't stepped into the school at least for the past 2 years. To see yong tau foo selling at $1.30 is amazing! And the super duper cheap McDonald's meals. One big plus point is the fast wireless connection in school.

With all these keeping me so busy, naturally my frequency of blogging has become so much lesser. Let's just say even if someone drop me a sms or something. I may be reading it but chuck it off to one corner the next minute & totally forgot about it unless that person messages me again.

Forgetful lil me but I'm a forgetful but happy lil lady.

2007-08-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

A lot to digest from today's class. Thus I'm here to relax a lil bit....

As mentioned, below are some photographs from the D&D.

2007-08-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

It's still a normal working day but it's so much better today. Cos the plant operations is back to normal, with no more major hiccups & I can finally get to leave office at 5.30pm. Oh, if you've seen the last few photographs I've uploaded, I actually just got them today. I didn't bring my thumbdrive to work today so just randomly loaded some to blogger during my free time just now. Will upload more soon.. :)

Seriously, I think I'm kinda brain dead at this very moment already cos I've never attempted to use so much brain power on one single tutorial. All the mass flow rate, molar flow rate & material balance. A good recap from what was taught in poly but definitely a bit more challenging.

Life is fulfilling when you're doing something you like.

It's true that life can get pretty lonely with no special someone. But I've learnt to enjoy all these alone time with myself. There are a lot of things you can do alone. A simple night of net-surfing, watching my favourite dramas on tv, catching up with friends on MSN. We must really learn to love the life we're leading now before we're ready to welcome another person in, right? :)

2007-08-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

Preview of photographs..

2007-08-20T11:04:00.000+08:00

A candle can't last that long when it's burning at both ends.

2007-08-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

It's cooling Sunday. It rained & I love the feeling of it.

I finally got to spend my weekends to myself, enjoying things that I do.

It really made me ponder a lot.

Does he say the same thing to both the ladies? About how much he cares & how much he wants to keep it in his heart?

Don't ever put your happiness in the wrong hand. Don't ever trust the sweet talking. A person who loves you will prove thru his actions, not words.

No road is smooth-sailing but you can make it a pleasant journey if you want to.

2007-08-15T15:25:00.001+08:00

One more thing. I had my company D&D last friday. Photographs not out yet. But I only have this photograph which was printed by the instant printing service provided that day.

Quite lovey-dovey eh.
ha.

2007-08-15T10:27:00.000+08:00

Very caught up with work & school lately. Isn't easy juggling time between the two and furthermore, now it's the shut-down period for the plant. Hopefully it'll get better after start-up next week & I can go back to my regular blogging habit & also my sleep! Haven't slept properly for the past 2 weeks. Finished work at 9pm last night... :(

I managed to catch 2 movies last week after work on National Day & also my only rest day - Saturday.

Pretty amazing. Two movies in a hectic week. Love 'em both. Would be better if Harry Potter is a longer movie though.. :)

I will be back again soon. :)

2007-08-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

I decided to detour a bit today after class, to rent a DVD. I realised that it's been so long since I've sat down & enjoyed a show on my own. Been wanting to catch The Holiday & finally get the chance today. I totally enjoyed the show. Something more than a love story I guess.

My feelings may be, as insignificantly as humanly possible, and it always aches at a place I never knew existed.I may be at the best pub or watching the best movie, but I would always spend the time before I sleep, going over the details again. Eventually, I will go somewhere new, & find someone who will make me feel worthwhile again.

And yah, I watched the 'High School Musical - The Concert'. Loved the movie & the songs so I rented the concert DVD too. Nice.

..

Were at the NDP combined rehearsal last evening. Thanks to Jianyong, who is one of the performers. He's one of those who will slide down from the Sheares' Bridge into the water. No fireworks & pretty costumes but it is still as spectacular. Last time, I was only there as a participant & never got the chance to be there as a spectator. Just glad to be there for a simple rehearsal. I'm hoping to be able to get the tickets next year.

To me, last night was more than a night out. The first time in a long while, I get to talk so much about myself, about whatever has been going on.

..

I have finally gotten my Citi Clear Card from Citibank yesterday. Look at the number of vouchers they're giving off. One thick stack of them.

Shall just show you a corner of my new card. Hee.

..

A busy week again from tomorrow, for both school & work. Plant only starting up a couple of weeks later so I guess I'm gonna be busier than usual. But it's all good & fulfilling.

2007-08-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

YAWNS.

I'm like, super shagged.

Today stepped out to site to finally do something more physical. Previously, everyone keeps insisting that gals shouldn't be doing these stuff. But to me, it doesn't matter. A gal & a guy are eventually human. A lady may not be physically as strong as that of a guy's but we're still able to get things done.

Anyway, just got back home. Met JY to get my NDP rehearsal tics for tomorrow as well as dinner together. Super long since I last seen him & he's still as entertaining. Not saying he's a clown la! Just that it's never bored when with him. He's one of my best things from the poly days.

Aiya.. too busy with MSN now..

One last thing.. Finally got my bidding results for modules. It's like sian-ed cos need to keep track of the bidding rounds.

Mine...

Dear CHEW YAN YAN, ESTHER,

Please find your bidding result for Acad Yr 2007/2008, Semester 1 as follows:

------------------------------------------
Allocated Modules
------------------------------------------

Module Code : TC1401
Module Title: Mathematics I

Module Code : SSB2216
Module Title: Employee Management In Singapore

Module Code : CN1111E
Module Title: Chemical Engineering Principles

Employee Management.... Boss-to-be. Wahaha. Siao. :X

..

Lately I'm feeling so good already. Knowing how stupid I am, to be cheated, it's a big wake-up call. He should be feeling guilty for what he's done to two persons who treat him wholeheartedly.

It's a big disgust.

I'm happy being who I am.

Thank you for letting me know.

You're the biggest disappointment of my life & sadly, you were also the love of my life.

I will walk the life I want, in the way I want it to be.

2007-08-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm supposed to be damn busy.

But I'm really very frustrated.

There's a tear right in the middle of my left contact lens & I have to take it out. That leaves me with one side only. Due to the huge power difference between the two eyes, I took out the other too.

Now i"m like totally blind. It sucks to continue working in this situation cos I will get so frustrated that I can't see the things right in front of me!

I will learn to bring my specs & if not, an extra pair of lens.

I still have class later & hafta get Wiro to buy for me.

ARGH. Damn useless.

..

Sharing this from an email that I got..

It's a little wordy to begin with but I hope you will feel the same as I do after you finish reading it. It's really meaningful.

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hoursin a day are not enough, remember the jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the
jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the
golf balls. He then asked the students again if the
jar was full they agreed it was

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into ! the jar. Of course, the sand filled up
everything else. He asked once more if the jar was
full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into
the jar,effectively filling the empty space between
the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,'said the professor,as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents
your life.The golf balls are the important things-
your God, family, your children, your health, your
friends, and your favorite passions--things that if
everything else was lost and only they remained your
life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job,your house,and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small shit.

If you put ! the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time
and energy on the small shit, you will never have
room for the things, that are important to you.'

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get
Medical checkups. Take your wife out to dinner.
Play another 18. There will always be time to clean
the house and fix the disposal.'

Take care of the golf balls first! -- The things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just
sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just
goes to show you that no matter how full your life may
seem, there's always room for! a couple of cups of
coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with someone you care about.

I just did.

P/S: My face is like just centimeters away from the LCD screen.

2007-07-29T19:44:00.000+08:00

And I was mentioning that me & tianlin went to the s.h.e concert yesterday. It was held at Max Pavilion @ Expo. It a free concert for the good sales of their album in Singapore. We're quite blessed actually cos it's supposed to be held at taiwan only but they decided to extend to Singapore.

The queue is really quite insane. We think it can almost reach Expo Station.

I seriously don't see the end of the queue.

We were there since 3 in the afternoon & finally get to go in @ around 6.30pm.

While waiting.. :)

Awesome. :)
..

I'm okay & I'm a much better person now.

All I needed is to vent it all out.

Life is unfair but only time will tell everything.

2007-07-28T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today's entry is supposedly on the S.H.E concert I went to, with Tianlin. But I think that can wait till tomorrow when I'm feeling better. Right now, perhaps I just want to write about something me & tianlin talked about.

Today was a good chance for us to chat about everything & update each other on our lives. We really chatted from school, all the way till about an hour ago. We weren't the closest in poly but we do crap a lot. She told me that she's glad that we're starting to know each other better now, rather than in the 'messy' environment in poly.

A lot of people attacked me, about my everything, when my relationship failed during my year 3. Though me & him were already broken up by then, we were still very close. People hurt me with their words. I am the gal who kept clinging on to the guy, in their eyes. But doesn't anyone understand that it takes two hands to clap? Can't anyone just give me a break for all the downs that I have been thru? Why was I the only one being blamed? Why are all fingers pointing to me? Does the relationship just consist of me?

I just don't understand this. Even a lot of friends whom I thought are my friends, are saying all these behind my back. And it's sad that I have to know them through another person.

Now that I've walked out of it, why isn't anyone praising me for my courage? For being brave enough to walk through every single thing?

I'm a strong person and it's not going to become any weaker.

I'm blessed, with a friend who listens to me. It is never too late for someone to walk into your life.

Why are there so many evil people around?

2007-07-22T16:13:00.000+08:00

yeahhhh

I love the way Sunday feels. Plus the perfect weather today, what more can I ask for? It's pretty windy & I can hear the tinkling sound coming from my wind chime. I haven't revised my work for a day & I'm feeling guilty already. Will do so later...

Yeah, and yet again, I'm just here to show how much I love the way my day has been today...

Cheers!

2007-07-21T21:02:00.000+08:00

HI!

Finally a new entry. =)

Been real busy & am lazy to even blog nowadays. At least I'm having a fulfilling life!

Had tutorial today & went to vivocity just now with tianlin, wiro & mui for a walk & also to shop for my skirt. Finally got it and also got another jumper for myself. It's like a great relief ever since I started classes 2 weeks back. More reason to get something for myself cos pay day's coming in less than 4 days' time.

Had matriculation today & got my student card & freebies. Ahh.. officially a student.. no longer an illegal student in school with no matric card. lol. But i think it's so troublesome to be a student. So many things to settle, including the bidding of modules. Have to take up cross faculty modules too. A big sigh for that.

Anyway, some pics..

I want to wear that lah... *determination*

Our table full of food. Korean cuisine last sunday night, courtesy of the birthday girl, Shenny. It's my first attempt for korean food & I totally loveee it. Blesseddddd.

..

Recently I gave my past 2 years of life a lot of thoughts. For the downs that I have went thru. It is always true that memories are best kept the way they were, when things were all good. From here onwards, we can only try hard to create more memories to be kept in our heart. Bad memories are for us to learn our lessons from & good ones are for us to remember them & smile at the thought of them.

My memories of him shall stop at 5 months ago, when things were good. And will stop from there, when he's become a changed person. I was selfless & suffering emotionally, at one corner. It is time for me to do something for myself. If he eventually appears in my life again, I will welcome him but I will never look at him the way I do in the past. Cos he's no longer the same.

He's no longer the guy who wished I would be there for his downs.
He's no longer the guy who would listen to me wholeheartedly.
He's no longer the guy who keeps his promises.
He's no longer the guy who would hug me & tell me not to be silly anymore.

I may have done a lot of wrongs too but I think I still deserve that old him. Nobody can ever give you the right answer when it comes to the affairs of the heart. Think with a clear mind & be firm with what you want. That's the bottomline.

I am now leading the ideal life I've always wanted. As much as I want someone special to be there for me, I still have a lot of good friends in my life. Friends are the ones we talk to when we're sad, happy, angry or frustrated. They are the ones to lend us their listening ears & show their love & concern for us.

Treasure them.

2007-07-13T20:44:00.000+08:00

I've MIA for the past few days.

Started classes & it's quite tiring. It's just this period of getting use to. I guess when things more or less settled down, I'll be fine. =)

Class just finished on the general & physical chemistry part. The last time I touched that was in poly Year 1 & it's definitely a good revision lah. Thank god I have 3 great companies - mui mui, wiro & tianlin. And thank god again for the fact that wiro drives. If not, it would have taken me forever to reach home after school.

..

This year's D&D details are finally out! The theme is 'Movies Magic'. Will be held at Novotel Clarke Quay (Any idea where this hotel is?) on the 10th august. I'm so looking forward to it. Last year's was pretty fun & every single one really let down their hair for that night.

.
.
.

Okay.. lots of dots. I'm just quite shagged at this stage. Luckily I did my tutorial last night already so I don't have to rush anything tonight. Will have to turn in early nonetheless for the tutorial tomorrow morning.

Till we meet again.

2007-07-09T15:30:00.000+08:00

*YAWN*

Yah, I'm at home at this very hour.

Went to school this morning to settle my loan paperwork & also to show my mum how my school looks like cos she never had the chance to visit NUS. So, this job shall become mine, her only daughter. =)

Fukang invited me down to his convo if I have time after settling my stuff. I wanted to go and have a look also, to see everyone collecting their scrolls, in the robe & mortar board. Really envy each and everyone of them. The Bachelors, Masters & PhD. They really gave me a lot of motivations to study hard & persist on. 4 years down the road, I want my mum to attend mine too.

I will put up the photograph I took today when I get it.

Meanwhile, let me surf a bit of net before I head to school in a while.. Having classes later..

Cheers!

2007-07-08T20:09:00.000+08:00

It was a long long weekend for me.

Went back to office yesterday as there was some testing going on in the plant but only for half a day. Was back at home by noon. Managed to catch a couple of hours of my precious sleep before meeting my beanies at night for steamboat. Most of my friends know how much I love drinking soup & yesterday was no exception. =)

Love them lots.

After dinner, we headed to Changi Airport for a drink at Coffee Bean cos it's open 24/7. Just the kind of place we need on a late Saturday night.

Poor Ian had to drive us home one by one when his place is nearest to the airport. We traveled in the car form Jurong West, to Farrer Road then to my place.. before Ian & Jasmine can head back to the east. I fell asleep in the car & Ian actually peeped at me while I was asleep! Luckily he didn't take down any ugly photographs of me sleeping. =P

..

Random pics.

A really cute food from Japan. It was from a visit of the Senior Director of Sumitomo Chemical. It comes in two flavor - green tea & red bean & they form a full moon when placed together. The Japanese on the packaging actually means 'Half Moon'. That explains right? =)

..

Serene couldn't tahan my aunty spirit when I go to NTUC cos I will always persuade them to buy more so that I can accumulate linkpoints. LOL. And the above pic is actually the result of it, but not from me, it's my mum. She bought 5 packets of Vitasoy in order to accumulate $20 for her linkpoints.

..

In the process of trying to blog this entry, I logged on to MSN & Angela messaged me. Actually I must say it's really nice. To have someone who read my blog at times & actually felt exactly what I'm going thru. Personally, I'm a happier person when I started this new blog & that has always been the thing that I want to portray to everyone. That explains my blog URL - my new world. Every happening or setbacks in life is to see if someone can stand up from it & be stronger from now onwards. I have successfully overcome it all & eventually back to my cheerful self again.

Thank you all. I will remember it all, for all your concern & actions in showing that you care.

Signing off. =)

2007-07-03T12:40:00.000+08:00

To a friend who's in poor health now..

Hope you will get out of all these ordeal soon.

..

Also, a lot of people seems to 'faint' upon seeing my desktop at work.

I have hello kitty wallpaper, icons & cursors.

I like, okay. =D

2007-07-02T22:24:00.001+08:00

YEAH. me again.

Was surfing Dawn Yang's blog. *Please refer to the link on the right for her blog*

She has this chat box at her page whereby readers can interact with her while she's online. I sort of find it interesting & gave it a shot. Initially, I thought she may be those big shot kinda celebrity-to-be but she replied in a pretty friendly manner & chatted with me for awhile.

I added this chat box at my bloggy too. *Please refer to the right of my blog again*

Try it. =)

2007-07-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

Today we installed the new Japanese curtains from Masumoto-san, our ex-GM. Before he went back to Japan, he wanted to put them up at the pantry door & now that he's back in Japan, he never forget about it. Estimation by Uemura-san is that each curtain costs about 500 sing dollars. Oh my. This is the price you pay for a hand-made item.

A photograph of one of our 2 pantries. It's really quite pretty & from this pic, it doesn't look like part of an office at all. It kinda looked like a home of a Japanese family.

On another total irrelevant note, can anyone understand my love for short flare skirts? They are like so pretty & I'm kinda reluctant to change out of them sometimes, as exaggerating as it may sound. I don't have the perfect proportion of an ideal pair of legs but I think they're decent enough. Yah, narcissism. I know la.. I just don't want to start regretting when my skin starts to age & it becomes wrinkly.

2007-07-01T21:27:00.001+08:00

Very reluctant to get off from my sofa actually. Been slacking on it since the start of the day. Caught a bit of Wimbledon today as well as a taiwanese drama on tv. Another of those love story & no matter how overrated I think these dramas are, it is just one of the light-hearted stories I would love to watch on telly over a lazy Sunday afternoon. It also sort of brought me to reality, where everything is different. Maybe for some, they are indeed enjoying the kind of happiness you would only see in tv shows & I'm still trying to find it.

The past 2 weeks on my own was pretty much enjoyable. Just the kind of quietness I need in my life. I am back to the life that I've been enjoying for the past few months or so. Before I really find someone who would touch my heart again, I shall enjoy it to the fullest.

Somehow lately, I think about e1 a lot. After all, he was a huge part of me & it's just natural that he walks into my thoughts every now & then. Surprisingly, I never forget about his words to me. All I dare to do now, is to find out from a friend, about his life. JY told me it's never good to be too faithful to a person. Maybe he has his point. He just wants me to walk out of those memories & lead a new life. Just let me indulge in those bits of happiness I still have in me. And I still will think, that memories are so much sweeter than reality, until another person is able to make my reality colourful again.

In the meantime, I will live my life to the fullest.

-One of my random & deepest thoughts.

..

Met up with Serene & Ying yesterday. Am lazy to type anything now. Shall just post the photographs.

Erm.. another hello kitty. HEE.

Sometimes I really wish she can behave better in front of the camera.

Okay la, she did eventually. =)

Cheers,
yours always.

2007-06-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

Somebody!

Please refer to
http://mynewworld-est.blogspot.com/2007_03_01_archive.html

My celebrity look-alike post.

Did you spot Leslie Cheung??

OMG, sorry Mr Cheung. I didn't mean to have any resemblance to you in any way at all.

*continue to bai bai*

2007-06-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

Everyone who had been to my place at least once would have noticed that gigantic Hello Kitty at a corner of my room. The thing I get very frustrated about is that Hello Kitty is white & it's so obvious when it starts to trap dust.

My mum decided to give my Kitty a good hot shower & let it dry...

like this..

I returned home from work that day & this scene made me laugh non-stop to myself. It was so hilarious at first sight that I quickly went to grab my phone & snapped this photograph. Now, the kitty is doing a headstand cos my mum wanted to sort of like, drain out the water from within it by doing so.

Turning in soon.....!

2007-06-25T22:41:00.000+08:00

I very very much wanted to turn in at 10pm today. BUT my mum took down my curtains for washing today & I'm little scared to sleep without them. Call me a coward, but it's scary.
Imagine shadows casting on you... GRR. WHATEVER.

Was watching Guess x3 on Channel U last Saturday. This week they're looking at girls with really fair skin. When they went into details on how they take care of their skin, it kinda scares me. It' s like.. they really go to the extent of wearing long sleeves, covering their face & wear a visor to shield them from the sunlight. I wouldn't have done that if not for the fact that I'm blessed with natural fair skin! Last time I don't really do a lot of skin care until I started going on my attachment during my Year 3 in poly. The scorching sun is killing my dear skin & I still recall how all of us at CPTC had that v-shape tan on our chest, thanks to our coveralls. After that, I became very aware that I should protect them despite it being part of my genes. The first sign of aging appears on the skin. Unknowingly, I have been following this regimen each day & night.

My daily routine 'cept for the Nivea & Olay mask which I apply once per 2 days. Haha.. Talking about being vain.... And anyway, Johnson's baby lotion works perfect for a baby soft skin. Cheap & definitely worth it. =)

When is Singapore gonna start our version of guess x3? Haha..

Truth is, a lot of people always remind me when the tv is gonna show something related to fair skin ladies.

Am loving my skin & how I have managed to walk out from the pimply face days. Cheers!

2007-06-24T13:08:00.000+08:00

A beautiful Sunday afternoon, one of those lazy ones.

Went out with JY yesterday, for a shopping trip that was postponed time & again since May cos of my busy schedule. He's another person who's labeled me as the workaholic. I'm pretty much used to that and I don't suppose that's a bad thing.

My purchases. Seems a lot but actually I spent little on these. The black belt is from Esprit at a price of $7. It costs 50 odd dollars but was on a 70% discount. Plus I have a Capitaland $20 (in division of $10) vouchers, thus I used $10 of it to pay off for this belt. So in the end, the receipt only come up to about $7. Esprit belt at $7, how often do you get to see that? The cap costs me only $20 and the shoes at $33. That's it, this will be the end of shopping for me this month. I don't foresee myself strolling down town for a shopping trip anytime soon *looking at my schedule*. Sigh. It's good. Nowadays, I have little interest when I walk past my favourite stores. Maybe cos I'm often too tired to pay much attention on them.

Tomorrow will be the start of another week. 2 more weeks and I will be going to classes with wiro & mui mui. =)

My current goal:
To save at least 5k by the end of this year. I want to keep at least that sum of money to prepare for the rainy days. This may be difficult cos I will no longer have much time to work overtime when school starts but it's still possible, if I try hard enough.

Bless!

2007-06-21T11:09:00.000+08:00

Me & Rebecca had come to a common conclusion of the mindset for shopaholics. We will give ourselves tons of reasons to shop during this year's GSS. She smsed me that Mango Sales had started & I even encouraged her to buy more cos of the GST hike coming up.

Lol. Shopaholics never change just like leopards never change its spots.

Anyway good thing I'm too busy with work. I have no time to shop! I finally make time this weekend with Jianyong for our long overdue shopping trip. I'm so looking forward to it... Bringing a black (read: tanned) army guy with me to town.